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A Death in the Family

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 21, 2014, 8:32 AM


I just had a death in the family. One of my stepfathers. And we were fairly close.

So, I'm probably not gonna be around for about a week. I might pop in for a little while...but...yeah...I'm right now, in just utter shock. The sadness hasn't quite set in yet.

Sounds kinda callous but usually it takes a while for me to feel sad after receiving the news.

Journal Layout by lockjavv
  • Listening to: Thriller (cover) by LoveCrave
  • Reading: Mass Effect 3 Times as Different
  • Watching: The Time Machine I found at a Yard Sale
  • Playing: Plants vs. Zombies
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: Vanilla Coke

My Kid Could Do That!

Journal Entry: Mon Oct 20, 2014, 4:16 AM


I went on That Guy with the Glasses to watch a review of a art film called Blue.

Which is about the color....

 photo 379719f6-77c4-4f01-9e3d-a39673d374d4_zpsd166fb55.jpg

Most specifically, the color I.K.B.  Which is an acronym for International Klein Blue.  Which is a pigment invented by Yves Klein.  In fact that image up there is the painting Klein did. 

Who then painted a single canvas with his invented pigment like a giant assed color swatch you'd see at a Home Depot.

And yes, your kid can do that.  Very easily.  With the color of IKB.  Now granted, he or she would not be able to create the pigment, but yeah, he or she can paint exactly what he painted.  Hell, I could easily do it by painting my door.

And the film Blue was created by an art filmist named Derek Jarman, who died of AIDS in 1994.  As he was making the film, he was succumbing to detached retinas, which means he was going blind.  And it goes into the deeper meaning of blue, which was for a time before the creation of Photoshop, difficult to create.  

And the review goes into explaining this.  Yes, blue pigment was difficult to create, especially that rich, deep, more or less blue that has a slight purple shift to it...than any other color.  Hell, I use a lot of blue in my artwork and yeah it takes me a good long while to shift the numbers around to get it to the look I want, to add the blue without over doing it.

And yes it takes an artistic eye to do that with.  But, again, painting a solid color?  Regardless to whether or not you created the pigment from scratch?  Yes, a child can do that!

No, a child cannot create a paint pigment from scratch.  But the guy at the Lowes can.  He can mix and match and do all that kind of stuff from some swatch of color you have so you can get your wall that perfect shade of robin egg blue.

But Owencitizen is right, a kid can't do that.  But a Kid can use a paintbrush to apply the pigment to the painting.  And this is why it is NOT art.  Creating a pigment is a work of art, the same as matching the color of the veneer on one of my tooth to make sure that it looks like the color of my tooth.  My dentist is an artist.  And I said that to him once.  And he appreciated the compliment, but said, meh...no I'm not.  But he is, under the same logic you apply to Klein's painting using the pigment he created, my dentist is an artist!

But the big difference is, you know what it is?  My dentist isn't applying stupid metaphorical garbage you'd think of when you're high as a kite to my tooth, nor is he trying to sell my tooth for a million bucks!

And that is where we get to the illusion of the abstract expressionists, such as Jackson Pollock, Franz Kline, Mark Tobey, and minimalists like Yves Klein and Anne Truitt, and Frank Stella.  These people who pay for the artwork done by these artists have been duped.

Severely!  

All of it is an illusion behind a name.  The name itself holds more worth than the piece of art that you are looking at.  

In which I get to this little art documentary of the rise and fall of Marla Olmstead, who was during her fame for her abstract expressionism, a 4-year old girl with NO artistic background, no schooling, no learning about color theory, nothing like that.  And this is why I hate abstract art.

Because a four year old can do it.

Big Smudge Complete by Ghostwalker2061

Say Hi to my only abstract piece that I brought home and ever liked.  Yeah, I made that colorful mess.  With painter's tape and oil paints.  And two different sized painters' knives and a two different sized paint brushes you would use to paint your rooms with.

The reason why I like this image is because I have an appreciation of making the mounting, stretching the canvas, all of that.  Which I did with some help.  Because this thing is taller than me!  Also wider than me.

It's 6 feet tall and 5 and a half feet wide.

It's in my living room because it can't fit anywhere else.

Hey, guys, you think I can sell it for a million bucks?  

I mean, those abstract art fans will buy anything, right?  Nope, because apparently my name isn't big enough.

One of the reasons why I like this sort of artwork.

The Black's Rage by Ghostwalker2061

I pride in my knowledge of color theory.  Because if I didn't have an understanding of it, I wouldn't be able to apply it to something like that.  I use color to direct your eye, which shows my artistic skills, but it is done on something we recognize.  And you know what's so great about it?  I didn't need to have a name in order to gain a following.  People like it because they can see it and understand what they look at.  They see the artwork itself, not the artist.  

In the world of Modern Art, it's all about the artist.  Not the artwork.  And that is why I'm so critical towards Modern Art.  Yeah, I've done my own version of minimalism.

Like this image...

Earth-Warder Pandaren Portrait by Ghostwalker2061

Compared to what I normally do, that's very minimalistic.  This is even more minimalistic and apparently has grown quite a following on Tumblr...

Kurama Kyuubi no Kitsune by Ghostwalker2061

Even more minimalistic than the Nel image.  And the people on Tumblr who like this image...they don't know my name, who I am, if I've done other pieces...but they still liked the image.

And it's still being shared around.  The damned thing is my most viewed image and most circulated image on Tumblr.  Of all the images I've shown, that's the one everyone loves.  And it is considered minimalistic due to the lack of color I use, the lack of detail.  Only sticking with more of a pen style...which I intend on doing more of.  Minimalism.  The art speaks for itself.  

But no, what really sells for millions is the image called the Piss Christ.  You ever seen the Piss Christ?  I have.

 photo Piss_Christ_by_Serrano_Andres_1987_zps732a4d8e.jpg

It is exactly what it says on the tin.  Done by Serrano Andres in 1987.  It's a modern photography of a wax looking crucifix in high contrast red and orange light, and the artist stated he put his own urine on a piece of glass in front of the camera.  

This is why I hate modern art, people.  

Guys like Larry Elmore or Jeff Easley aren't widely known in the artworld, but hell, they've contributed more to us than Mr. "I wanna pee on baby Jesus!"  Hell, Larry Elmore wrote his own art book on how to draw like him.  A How-To-Draw book, which includes some funny little things he includes, jokes about the characters he would draw.  And it was cute.  And enjoyable.  And I love it.  Larry is basically my artistic hero.  He influenced a lot of my own artwork.  Mostly due to the bright vivid colors I do in my art, I took from him.  Denis Beavis is another one of my art heroes.  His dragons had a style of their own, and yeah, I will say that I didn't like the body design of them, I liked other aspects of them.  And the way he painted his landscapes full of color...yeah...that's what I wanted to do too.  Hell, I did a photograph of a storm cloud being lit by the setting sun that reminded me of Beavis' way of doing clouds.

Heavenly Fire by Ghostwalker2061

That image is my way of imitating the artists that I love and that influenced me.  And the only thing of Pollock that I imitated was this image here...

The Sandworm by Ghostwalker2061

The only object in that image that is in fact made with traditional media is the bug machine.  I created it using black ink.  Real black ink on a canvas, and then I dried it and scanned it in, and then edited it digitally.  But, how I got that shape was through Pollock's way of slinging paint.  But at least I turned my slung ink into something, where as his paintings were just so noisy and busy, they looked like a Magic Eye image that my eyes can't see due to my astigmatism.  And yes, they also hurt my eyes.  Jackson Pollock's images are actually painful for me to look at.  

I sat down and watched the art documentary on "My Kid Could Paint That" which is the story of Marla, the 4-year old painter who lucked out because some artist saw her paintings and put them up on shows...and the journalist who wrote about her said something about how her mother hated Pollock.

"My mother hated Jackson Pollock. Every time she saw a Pollock painting, she felt that the painting was saying that: 'You're stupid, and I'm not.  And there's people smarter than you that get me.'  She felt personally insulted by his paintings."

Yeah, and that's where we get the High Brow issues.  Because these people think that because they're smarter than the rest of the world, they get the superfluous meaning behind someone eating a ton of lard and then a ton of chocolate and calling it a smack on indulgent society.  

I guess that means every person who eats fried chicken is also an artist.  

For me, the art should be there to speak for itself.  To tell its own story.  And if it doesn't, then yes, it fails as an art piece.  But slinging paint you buy from Lowe's around on a canvas 45 feet long by 10 feet wide and then tacking on some pretentious story that pretends it is talking about the deeper meanings of life isn't ART!  

And you're not an artist for doing it.  Just admit who and what you are...

At least Marla is a bit more real when it comes to her artwork.  She's not there to expand your mind, she's just there to paint pretty colors.  

And we all know why abstract artists try to tack on some stupid deep meaning they yanked out of their asses to explain why they painted a canvas red and then smeared baby puke green on it.  Let's be honest people...it's because they were high as a kite when they did it.  Trust me, you have to be high as a kite to like these artists.

In fact, that's probably why Derek Jarman got AIDS, because he shared a dirty needle filled with heroin with someone or having unprotected sex.  As in, he wasn't careful and it bit him in the ass.  

And trust me on this one, when you actually sit down and watch this near 90 minute film on the color blue and seeing nothing else but the color of #002fa7 in the middle of your screen and listening to some tired sounding dude droning on the color blue...you kinda wonder if narcotics were involved.  HEAVILY!

Say 'NO' to drugs kids, especially illegal narcotics that can in fact create a condition in your spine that in order for you to get off of heroin safely, you have to remove it and it can cost you the use of your legs!

Also, don't have unprotected sex.  I'm not saying don't have sex, but I am saying be responsible.  Unlike some artists who think they know the deeper meanings of life because they could create a pigment that was impossible for thousands of years...only to die because they cared more about being deep than being careful.

I want to be able to continue creating art for as long as I live, and I intend to live for a long, long time.  And the moment I can't pick up a pen and draw, that is when I'll know my life is at an end and I will be asking for Dr. Kevorkian to come and kill me off.  So, to make sure that I make the most of my life and my art, I know that I will be responsible with myself.

And for the so called "My Kid can Do It" discredited strawman argument Owencitizen made...if Yves Klein hadn't done it, somebody else would have.  It goes back to my whole argument on the Hitler Time Travel Protection Act when I argued against the idea that without the Horde, Azeroth would be doomed.  I'm arguing against Klein's contribution too.

Because just like Klein was the first to create this solid pigment of blue when for thousands of years it wasn't possible, America became the first country to not only create the Atomic Bomb, but use it in a war.  When it could have been someone else who would have.

Also, at one time, Klein was a kid.  So, still, the argument against the strawman is again invalid.  The Strawman has a point!  

You all wanna watch a piece of art in film that is both provocative and has a deep message, I suggest watching the 1954 Gojira.  The original Japanese version.  A horror film shot in a film noir style about how an entire country was emotionally scarred because ten years earlier they were the subject of the Straw Man argument.  And do a proper review of that.  Because that film is...beautiful.  And hell, the art in which Akira Ifukube went into creating the monster's roar by rubbing a resin rubber glove over a contrabass.  Beautiful.

I have tried my damnest to recreate that haunting sound using a contrabass.  And I can't.  For the life of me, I can't.  That is art.  Creating something that cannot be recreated by the same methods...especially a sound that basically has never existed before...that is true art.  And to use that sound to bring life to a creature that is an allegory of a country's fear of nuclear retaliation?  That is art.  And to have that same message used by that sound and film and have it cross language barriers to the point where even we idiot Americans can get it?

That is ART!  

Creating a pigment that can be found in nature, and easily mass produced...and would have eventually been created anyways regardless as to who it was...and then paint it on a canvas to call it art?

Nope, that's not ART!

You're not being deep for pissing on a screen in front of a crucifix, you're just doing it to get attention!  And you're being gross.  It's like the cheap jump scares the latest horror movies do.  It's STUPID!

The Strawman has a Point!



Journal Layout by lockjavv
  • Listening to: Thriller (cover) by LoveCrave
  • Reading: Mass Effect 3 Times as Different
  • Watching: The Time Machine I found at a Yard Sale
  • Playing: Plants vs. Zombies
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: Vanilla Coke

Apparently I've Got Experiences You Don't

Journal Entry: Mon Oct 20, 2014, 12:14 AM


I'm beginning to see a pattern here.  In my reviewers especially.

I'm a bit more...unfortunately rounded or experienced in things most of my readers are not.

I had a reviewer try to make the argument that Malygos was going to destroy the world...in a statement against why Neltharion is so blindly trying to defend him.

Which is the reasons why we had to kill Malygos because the amount of magical energy he was collecting could have ripped the planet apart, right?

Thing is though the logic in me doesn't buy into that because of...well...since Azeroth in my stories is the same size and mass of Earth...unless he's packing 53 quadrillion megatons, which is the minimum force of energy needed to break the entire planet apart, as in blow it up.

Because Azeroth, like Earth, has a mass of 6.6 sextillion tons.  Yeah, I'm not buying it, but for the purpose of drama, let's say that he could.  

And he deserved what he got.  We had to kill him.  Poor Malygos.  Thing is though, I'm guessing some of you have never had relatives that did some criminal things in their lives.  Relatives that you would love and care about.  

But I have.  And I have had those relatives own parents and brother and sisters turn a blind eye out of love of said person, no matter what is the truth, because in their mind...this person could never do something so horrible.

Hell, there were times when I questioned whether or not my own father did the things he did...because how could someone who I trusted and cared about...how could he do it?  Why?  He loves me, right?

The same thing with Neltharion.  Neltharion is an innocent who was forced into doing what he did under the possession of a evil personality/demon/whatever and the Old Gods.  But Malygos, no he went insane for a while, then was brought back to sanity and realized that yeah...he needs to destroy the planet.  He made a horrible judgement call under no influence, under sound mind.

But Neltharion, much like myself, or relatives who love this person dearly...can't think beyond any of that.  The Adventurers took his brother away.  Took his brother that he has known for nearly 70 thousand years, loved and cared for far longer than any of those mortals have lived...and then just took him away.

Worse yet, Neltharion blames himself for his brothers' criminal act.  He blames himself, thinks its his fault, and his brother was made to suffer.

Same thing does for some of you who call Neltharion angsty.  He's got a reason to be angsty.  

He's not an emo kid with his hair in his eyes, listening to "Crawling in My Skin", and cutting himself as a cry for attention because his parents took his Xbox away for not doing his homework over the weekend. 

This is a person who went through hell.  Literal hell, and he's lost and confused.  

I tend to put a bit of my experiences in my stories.  I even try to put the experiences of the people who touched my life in my stories.  

And I'm glad you all never had to go through what I went through, and I wouldn't ask for anyone to have my past, but...just remember, I'm diving deep into my own experiences which may be fantastical to you, but are very real and this is how many people do react.  

It's easy to say that you can condemn a person of a criminal act, especially if they are a faceless mook you don't know.  

It's quite different when they are your own family.

Journal Layout by lockjavv
  • Listening to: Thriller (cover) by LoveCrave
  • Reading: Mass Effect 3 Times as Different
  • Watching: The Time Machine I found at a Yard Sale
  • Playing: Plants vs. Zombies
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: Vanilla Coke

Sleepy Hollow the Series

Journal Entry: Sat Oct 18, 2014, 10:55 PM


Let's talk about something Halloween-ish.  For once.

I am working on a Halloween image, actually a redo of this image...

The Demise of Edward Cullen by Ghostwalker2061

Because it is an awesome image, and I feel a better more HD version is in the works.  I'm not even going to change the pose or anything like that, just draw Vickie a bit better, maybe add a more autumn look rather than the summer feel of the image.  It was originally done in the summer.  So, this one will be fall.

Build up her neck, make her head a bit bigger since that's an issue that people tend to have.  And make Edward a bit viewable.  Maybe this time the Anti-Twilight group will accept it.

They didn't the last time.  So, hopefully I'll have it done for Halloween.  Since Halloween is focused a little in my mind the Shadow Dragons.  Because the are the only dragons that fit the Halloween theme because they are vampire hunters.  They are the hunters of the supernatural.  They hunt anything from demons, to evil witches, to zombies, ghouls, ghosts, everything that goes bump in the night, especially on All Hallow's Eve.

So, since it is getting close to Halloween now, I would like to share with you a series I picked up last year and I have been following since.

Sleepy Hollow!



This is the most stupid premise I have ever seen in my life!  But it is so fucking awesome!

The premise is Ichabod Crane is brought to modern times by basically being frozen in time by his Wiccan wife because he is one of the two Witnesses of Biblical fame.  The other Witness is Abby, a lieutenant working for Sleepy Hollow's sheriff department.  And apparently the Revolutionary War was the beginning of the War of the End of Days.  Because the Headless Horseman is the Horseman of Death, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  And the Founding Fathers were all getting together to prevent the End of Days from happening.  Because I guess King George III was also behind this?  

As well as the Hessen German soldiers.  Yeah...

And now that I said that, you are all asking me what the hell I was smoking.

Like I said, stupid premise.  But that's why it's awesome.  

They treat it with such seriousness.  They could have ran with it and made it into some comedy.  But no, they didn't.  They knew it was a stupid premise, but everything is to be taken seriously because this isn't our Earth, it's basically an alternate Earth.  I guess that's the best way of looking at it without going: "This is utterly stupid!"

The characters are memorable.  All the tricks they use to allude the audience, actual plot twists that pretty  much trumps anything M Night Shyamalan has done.  And the show is very fun to watch.  Very, very fun.

Pretty much, the big reason why this is a fun ride is because of Ichabod Crane himself.  He's a Fish out of Water, temporally.  And yeah, he's gonna struggle with modern times and such, but it's not hammered in as hard as you might think it would be.  Most of the things that he has big issues with are like our sales taxes, the fact that he learned our modern progression has polluted the world, how we tend to teach history of a time he played a part in, that sort of thing.

He doesn't look at a car and go "magical chariot without horses".  He understands that he's looking at a machine, but something more advanced than what he is used to.

He understands that a cell phone is a communications device, but he doesn't understand exactly how it works, just that it does.

I think what really sold it for me was in the Pilot, when he talks about knowing George Washington personally, one of the guys pulls out a dollar bill which has Washington on it...hands it to him and says: "Good news, our side won...200 years ago..."

And that pretty much hits home to Ichabod into knowing where he is and when, seeing the fruits of what he and the other revolutionaries were fighting for come to past and what sort of country the ending of the war created.

And yes...my inner Tomboy went squee when I saw the Headless Horseman walking around with not just an axe, but a shotgun, a machine gun, and bandoleer full of shotgun shells as well as grenades and other explosives. 

Like I said, it's stupid, but it's so fucking awesome that you excuse the stupidity of the premise.

So if any of you haven't checked this out, I suggest you should.  It is on Hulu.  And it might be showing on Netflix and such.

But this is a show airing on Fox, and we all know how well things go there, especially when it's GOOD!

So, I pray that it doesn't get canceled.

Oh yeah, the two lead actors who play Abby and Crane.  Mison and Behaire...they do look so cute together...

 photo tumblr_mtidh8NyJL1r78eu7o1_500_zpse73d4caa.png

Despite the fact that Crane is married and Abby is married to her work.  But in a way I'm glad that they are playing the Heterosexual Life Partners things.  Good, good friends, instead of doing the usual because we have a girl lead, that means we need her to be the love interest to the male lead.

I prefer it that they stay deep and close friends, getting close to being actual family rather than being romantically involved.  

But that doesn't mean I don't see why some fans would ship them together.  Because, yeah, they do look so CUTE!  


Journal Layout by lockjavv
  • Listening to: Thriller (cover) by LoveCrave
  • Reading: Mass Effect 3 Times as Different
  • Watching: The Time Machine I found at a Yard Sale
  • Playing: Plants vs. Zombies
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: Vanilla Coke

I Spit on Your Grave

Journal Entry: Sat Oct 18, 2014, 1:03 AM


Actually this should be titled Neltharion Spits on Deathwing's Grave.

Because if there's something that is actual text in my stories, it's Neltharion being literally, physically, as well as mentally raped.

That's actually a common theme in the story.  And why Neltharion is so broken.

One thing I would suggest is looking at Count Jackula's review of I Spit on Your Grave.

Review of I Spit on Your Grave Pt 1

Review of I Spit on Your Grave Pt 2

Because this review is quite excellent, even better than Brad's review a year ago.  At least in my opinion.

And the movie itself goes deeply (sigh) into the stupid apply-named theme of the Rape Culture.

Might as well get this over with.  I'm a child molestation survivor.  Now, while child molestation is a bit different than a grown woman being raped, there is that still message of dominance and power done by the molester to the victim.  And I was a little, weak girl, being overpowered by a much larger and stronger man.

However, though while conviction was less than sparkling even during the 80s because of I got a lot of people saying (how could that wonderful man be that horrible?  I mean, he's such a handsome and honest man...it's that mother's fault...with her slutty ways...) due to the fact that at the time my mother was between dating multiple men...and yes, it does sound as horrible as you might think.  Yeah, they blamed everything that I went through on my mother who had NOTHING to do with it.

Fuck you Justice System.

But still they are more inclined to convict a rapist who harmed a child, rather than a rapist who harmed a fully grown, mature woman.

Because Children are Innocent.  And yes, that makes it even more wrong than ever.  It's why I will always sympathize with women who are victims of rape.  And probably why I can't be allowed to serve on a jury stand if ever I'm called to court and it's about a rape case.  Because of my bias and sympathies to the victim and wanting to see justice served upon the defendant.  To the point of where, yeah, I do believe rapists should get the death penalty.  

And I also heard some good news of how other prisoners treat rapists, especially child molesters.  And why many of them are put into their own wing a lot.  It's because the other convicts will fucking murder the child molester.  Because murdering is okay, but don't you dare try to rape a kid.

But how does this all relate to Nel?  Well, Neltharion has slowly become an embodiment of a lot of what I've been through at times.  His troubled past, the fact that he has a lot of mental problems.  

But most importantly, Neltharion is a rape victim.  

Duality by Ghostwalker2061

Big time.  

He has been raped mentally and physically.  Also, Neltharion is in many aspects of how I describe him, basically the woman who after surviving all of that, is still being accused by the world at large, saying that everything that happened to him is his fault, and that he deserved everything he got.

Exactly what our society often will think of when it comes to a woman after she survives her rapist.  

And then there's other things that's applied upon him.  He's the most physically powerful Aspect on the planet, so how could he LET himself be taken down and victimized?  

Yeah...

It goes there...

Deathwing looked upon Neltharion shackled body, running a claw down his neck.
Don’t...Neltharion said in a plead. You sick bastard, don’t!
Sometimes it’s just best to close your eyes and get it over with
, purred Deathwing.
No, you promised my suffering would end! Neltharion said. Please, don’t do this again.
No. I’ve done what you asked! I’ve done it! I’ve made that accursed thing. Don’t do this to me again. No!
The Earth-Warder’s pleads are delicious, Deathwing.
And we love to watch...

Neltharion shut his eyes, grimacing just as Deathwing drew his body into a forceful embrace. It was unspeakable, horrifying, shameful. Every vile act was committed against him and he was helpless to it. He could do nothing but to submit to Deathwing’s stronger will. This was how they broke him. In his own mind, in his own body, he was forced to endure the violating act. Deathwing ravaged everything to gain full control of Neltharion’s body. Neltharion cried out, tears continuing to flow from his eyes. It only pleasured Deathwing even more.
From Romancing the Coffer

“Oh, Neltharion. Never fight me. You know you enjoy what I do to you. But to do it physically. I waited a long time for this. Whatever magic that separated you from me, I am grateful for it.”  - Deathwing 
From Murozond's Gift.

As the dragons plummeted to the ground, they shattered. But did Deathwing cry out for vengeance? No, Neltharion could remember that very vividly. Deathwing laughed, being the only dragon left flying over the valley. The parasite
that inhabited his tattered body returned to the cliff to retrieve the hapless Neltharion from his temporary prison and re-absorbed him. Then, he asked the weeping spirit a simple question.
“Did you enjoy my little show, whelp?”
Of course Neltharion did not. Broke down and wept again as Deathwing laughed,
mocking his tears.
From Wrath of the Warchief

A bit...

And does Neltharion often say it's Deathwing's fault?  Well, sometimes, but a lot of times he blames himself.  Everything that Deathwing has done, Neltharion blames himself because he believes he allowed it to happen and did nothing to stop it.  Yeah.

But it's all there.  Neltharion is hypersensitive because of it.  Which means anyone who touches him can in fact subdue him as well as bring back horrible memories.

Deathwing was a personality created by Neltharion (not on purpose though).  That is something I need to explain about a split mind such as Nel's.  In the case of Multiple Personality Syndrome, the plural person, one with two different entities sharing the same body, that were created from one mind and one personality and not some demon possession...is that the alter personality is often created for the mind to cope with a trauma.

I use a similar thing with Kiryuu Knight as well.

Kiryuu Mechagodzilla by Ghostwalker2061

Yeah, in the later stories, Kiryuu Knight is someone who suffers from multiple personalities.  It's where we get the AIs like Cortana from, and Call, and Bishop.  And in order for him to create those, he had to go through a lot of trauma.  And it was self inflicted mostly.  Except for one.  When Kiryuu's personality splitted off to create Cortana.  That was Catherine Halsey's fault.  She inflicted enormous amount of pain upon Kiryuu's mind to create the very powerful AI she needed for her task.

Which is why King Ghidorah had a bit of a thing for Cortana.  Because of how she was created, she was the closest thing he had to Kiryuu Knight...whom like Deathwing and Nel's abusive relationship, he feels he is entitled to possess and torment for his own sick pleasure.

Kinda puts this image into perspective don't it?

 photo fa2d277d-9922-4f41-b3d0-9269df70b13a_zps0dfa38c1.jpg

There is something wrong with me.

Thing is though about DID is that the person doesn't purposefully create the personality.  It's what the brain does as a coping mechanism, to put something there as a shield to protect the main personality from the trauma.  But it isn't deliberate, at least not to the actual person being tormented.

And yes, Nel is aware that he created Deathwing to cope with the Old Gods, but that's only after the fact.  When it was happening, he was neither aware, nor could he stop it.

It's just that the personality that came from it, the sick and twisted asshole that Deathwing is, then struck down to Neltharion himself.  And yeah, raped him.  

Not only that.  But made Neltharion feel the pain of the rape Deathwing forced upon his consorts like Sintharia.  

And when the deed was done and Deathwing was gone, Neltharion was left with himself and the world telling him that it was his fault.  All the bad things that happened to him, to his flight, to the world, it's his fault.

And what's worse?  He ended up with one of Deathwing's rape victims as well, Calia...who actually continued to subdue and rape Neltharion in revenge.

“That knot was made by our Black Queen Calia––and no amount of dragon strength can untie that knot.” Then, Serinar looked up at his own lord, cocking a black, fuzzy eyebrow. “Now what sort of skills has she learned in order to figure out how to tie up an Aspect in rope and keep him bound?” 
“What goes on in our longhouse stays in our longhouse,” said Neltharion 

Yeah...that wasn't really supposed to be meant as a joke.  And you all should be ashamed for laughing.

Neltharion is actually ashamed because he is often tied during sex with Calia, and that he's ashamed of himself because he believes he deserves it.  Because society has made him to think he does.

There was a person who completely did not understand the meaning of Neltharion covering his shame after a female Twilight Dragon attempted to mate with him in order to gain more eggs from hm.  Covering his shame, the fact that his body's instinct would cause an erect penis for the purpose of copulation despite his mind screaming out: NO!

The statement of: "It's not rape because you enjoyed it."

I still stand by that chapter and Neltharion covering up his hardened cock in utter shame and humiliation because his body again was acting without his own consent.  The shame wasn't because of a dragon's sense of modesty, it goes deeper than that.  Don't see Neltharion as a dragon in that scene, but as a human.  

A female human who is a victim of rape.  

He was ashamed and wanted to hide the fact that his body enjoyed the female's vent over his cock.  And the fact that, yeah, his body actually did ejaculate.  All the while his mind was saying how wrong it was and was humiliated because his body was enjoying what he knew in his mind and his soul was wrong.  

And he would never have been able to come to such a conclusion if Deathwing hadn't been created to show him the way.

“I am bursting with my own magnanimousness!” Deathwing announced in a bellow as the two locked claws. Deathwing looked up at the much taller and wider Prestor. He looked to the claw, and with his fiery eyes wide, he noticed that Prestor was not burning. Deathwing’s heat was not effecting him. “I cannot wait to share such glory with the others.
“Others?” asked Prestor. “What do you mean?”
“My mates!” said Deathwing, the smile drawing up his rather mangled looking face. “Our mates. Perhaps I will start with Sintharia first.  Why should I do anything to our consorts when I have you here to play with instead?”

Yeah.  

And the whole world believes that Neltharion deserves every bit of what he got.  

Velen's Meditation by Ghostwalker2061

So the next time when someone wants to complain about me having Neltharion be all blubbery and cry at a drop of a hat...or be depressed when he should just get over himself, let me remind you.  That's the same thing rape victims tend to hear as well from the larger public.

Even when you hate reading those parts, I have Nel cry because he needs to.  Because for 10 thousand years, he wasn't allowed to.  And two years isn't going to be enough to make him "toughen up".  Neltharion wears his emotions upon his sleeve.  

Most stories that depict a character who has fallen from grace and then rises out of it often depict the character just shaking it all off and moving on.  But for me, that was never realistic.  But it is common place in fantasy.  Because fantasy is meant to fantasize these sort of things.

Not this story.  It's not a fantasy.  And I might as well just come out and say this right now...THIS STORY IS NOT NOR WILL IT EVER BE ABOUT NELTHARION'S REDEMPTION.  

Redemption implies that the character has done something wrong and evil and then tries to reconcile for what he has done.

Thing is though, Neltharion has done nothing wrong.  EVER!  Deathwing did it all, to the world, to Sintharia, to Calia, and to Neltharion.

This is a story about Neltharion's rehabilitation.  A character who is a victim, has gone through a traumatic event that has destroyed him from the inside out.  Turned the person into a non-person.  Take everything away that makes that person a person until it's not even an animal, it's a nothing.  A complete nothing.  

And then bring that person out of that hole and try and help him return to society.  But because of what he went through, he's so broken that he can't by himself, so he needs to be rehabilitated.  

In a world that has no social workers, has no therapists, has no means to understand nor provide such a service to such a character.  And what's worse?  He has to be the leader of an entire culture as well as be the god of the very planet the people who tell him that it's all his fault for being a victim.

Yeah, Neltharion deserves to cry A LOT!

The Dive by Ghostwalker2061

He sees himself as a failure.  And he hates himself for it.  Over and over.  He is so powerful, so strong that every nuclear weapon in the world wouldn't be able to hurt him.  He can survive heat many times hotter than the surface of the sun, pressure that's 30 million times more than what we deal with on the surface of our own planet.  He is indestructible!  But even with all that power, it fails him when he needs it the most.  And he is a failure because of it. The planet obeys him, but he can't save a single town from Garrosh's mana bomb.  

And he wishes he can run away, run away to a place where no one knows his name, or knows Deathwing's name.

And that's why we have Pandaria.  Neltharion is allowed to cry!

Also, some of you men who like to mention that even men get raped as well...you should thank me.

Because society likes to say that rape on a women, not funny.  But rape on a man, hilarious...

I think I've created the first fanfic that doesn't make fun of rape on a man, nor does it use it as a joke.  You are supposed to think of it as horrible and uncomfortable.  Which is why I think some of you men out there think Nel cries to much.  Because it's too uncomfortable to you.  

It's uncomfortable for you men to see a being that is so powerful, so masculine, be weak and helpless when yeah, his physical strength can get him out of danger.

Neltharion has a huge weakness.  His kryptonite is his mental brokenness,  his emotional trauma...

And you guys don't like to see that...see such a powerful character crawl into a corner and pout.  

But that's what happens when you break someone in half.  Can they ever be mended?


Journal Layout by lockjavv
  • Listening to: Thriller (cover) by LoveCrave
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  • Drinking: Vanilla Coke

Pandaria Rise of the Sha chpt 6

Journal Entry: Fri Oct 17, 2014, 3:31 PM


Well, chapter 6 has been posted.

Pandaria: Rise of the Sha chpt 6

Hope everyone will see it.  It also gives us a reason why Neltharion can't be killed.  Well, shouldn't be killed.

Earth-Warder Pandaren Portrait by Ghostwalker2061

Who would want to kill such a cute face?

Oh, here's a thing that will happen in chapter 7.  Nel goes to Pandaria. So I am going to have him end up on the continent.  What should happen when he does?


Journal Layout by lockjavv
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  • Watching: The Time Machine I found at a Yard Sale
  • Playing: Plants vs. Zombies
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Fun in Balloon Land

Journal Entry: Thu Oct 16, 2014, 10:16 PM


I present to many of you, as I have shown the death of animation, here is the death of children's movies.

Why the hell when we have a movie for kids, that means that whoever makes it, must never try to make something good and or interesting, or hell even compelling?

Because Children are Morons?

Because it's for kids, that means it is allowed to be shit?

One thing I seem to recall that during my day as a kid, we were cleaning out the attic and found some of my old baby toys...and I saw just what garbage they really are...due to poor craftsmanship, the horrible sticker decals, and everything made of cheap plastic.

So, here's a movie that reminded me of that!

Well, at least the trailer for it.  I can't seem to find the actual movie anywhere, but Brad Jones did.  So, I'll also link to his review of this stupid thing as well...



The trailer for this half assed 1960's children's film about a kid going to sleep and waking up in what looks to be an old storage house filled with used parade balloons....that's called Balloon Land.

And it's as stupid as you might think.  But it is also creepy as fuck!

And here's the Cinema Snob review of it...

Cinema Snob's Review of Fun in Balloon Land

Have fun.

Journal Layout by lockjavv
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What Went On during my Conception?

Journal Entry: Thu Oct 16, 2014, 3:25 AM


So, let's just discuss some things...during my birthweek, we're gonna do something hilarious and probably very stupid.  But this is the Internet, and that's what we do.

Stupid stuff.

So, unfortunately, we don't know exactly what happens during the time when Mr. Sperm meets Mrs. Egg during intercourse.  Because we can't remember when we basically stopped being a cell the size of a pen head.  

Nor can we remember what happened while we were developing in the womb, or what it looked like to be squeezed out of a hole roughly the same diameter of a ping pong ball.

We really don't start having actual memories until much later.

Which is why when my mother said we lived in Louisiana at one time, I didn't remember because I was one years old at the time.  However, I do remember the World's Fair in 1982.  I was 4.

 photo 150px-1982WorldsFair_zps2056d3ec.png

I also remember the annular eclipse that happened in 1984.  I was 6 at the time.  Actually, I was five, because the eclipse happened in May and my 6th birthday was October.  So I spent most of 1984 being 5 years old, in kindergarten, doing cartwheels in the front of Cedar Hill Elementary.  (Which has been torn down to turn into a park in 1989.)

 photo A1984Mosaic_zps8b608439.jpg   photo A84Anim1_zpsdq0pzbi9.gif

So, using those numbers, you can kinda guess what year I was born.

Please don't steal my identity with your newfound knowledge.  Mostly because I don't have any money to steal from anyways.  I'm very broke.

So, I discovered this little gem here...

When Was I Conceived?

It gives the approximate date of conception in which Mr. Sperm met Mrs. Egg that created this cute kid here...

 photo cutekid_zps59f92a8e.jpg

Who then after many years turned into this person here...

 photo shhh_zps87e6549b.jpg

Who likes to write about broken Woobified God Dragons like this guy...

Neltharion the Worldmender by Ghostwalker2061

Isn't he just so adorable?!

Look at dah face!

But through that website, I was able to find out what the top of the charts were during my conception.  And what movies were also playing at the time...

Apparently, what brought me into the world was this song...



Which would then be later played in a very horrible scene from Transformers in which Sam Witwicky played by Shia LeBeouf is kicking Bumble Bee's steering wheel while Mekaela, played by Megan Fox was walking away...

And it gives me another reason to hate Michael Bay even more.

But the movie that was playing at the time of my becoming more than a twinkle in my mother's eye was none other than John Travolta's...

 photo Saturday_night_fever_movie_poster_zps071ed419.jpg

The 70s were awesome, people!

So, give that link a try and see what songs might have been playing while your parents were busy making you.  And what movies they no doubt saw before they decided to make you.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!

I can't help it, I'm laughing my ass off.

Journal Layout by lockjavv
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Slut Shaming and Extended Birthday

Journal Entry: Wed Oct 15, 2014, 5:01 PM


First off, I'll just say...I'm gonna extend the whole birthday thing for a week.  I usually do this.  So, those of you who want to wish a happy birthday, you don't have to worry about it being belated.

I usually do this for family and friends who don't have time to come down to the date. And also because I know I can't get to like my family members if the day falls on a work day or not.

So, I don't have a birthday, I have a birthweek.

So, there's that.

Now, onto the issue of slut shaming.  And why I think slut shaming is bad and why I don't like it.

 photo March-27-2013-00-32-58-263616463339693734170729205470n_zps73c0bcab.jpg

Slut shaming is a method in which a bunch of people would put down a person for having more of an active sex life, or tends to dress sexy, wanting to express themselves in such a fashion.  And yes, mostly, this slut shaming is a term used to describe certain women with loose morals, not men.

Why?  Because in our patriarchal society, it's seen as a big no-no if women have lots and lots of relationships, than men.  Women are still expected even today to keep her legs closed, be chase, and hold her purity in very high regard.  The term 'Virgin' though it's beginning to leak into referring to anyone, male or female, or transgender, whatever...as never having sexual intercourse with a partner.  However, it is still regulated to women.  A woman who had sex outside of marriage is still in some societies as regarded as damaged goods.  A virgin woman is still praised even in our society for keeping with her virtues.  And virgin women are considered again high prizes because they are undamaged.

(However, in all honesty, I know that if I were a man, I would much rather have sex with a woman who knew what the hell she was doing rather than a virgin who does not.  Because women who have practiced sex know where it goes properly, know how to position themselves.  Practice makes perfect, right?)  

Hell, even the Bible and the Torah, yes, the Torah more so...(shame on my former religion and culture for being stupid sexist pricks especially) that women are in some ways seen as property and that if a man had damaged the goods, he's expected to pay the owner for damaging said goods.  And even more horrible, yes, the Torah does state that a woman must marry her rapist again because of said damage goods.

This why I said SHAME ON YOU to my own culture for writing such a horrible thing.  My culture, guys, and my culture is horrible.  I will admit that.

So, yes, this is still a problem for women rather than men.  I'm not saying that some men don't have this as a problem, but the majority is still with women.  

Even in modern marriages, it is still considered a social taboo for women who are not virgins to wear pure white.  My mother who got married to my stepfather wore an off white dress.  It was pretty, but it was not white.  Because white in western cultures is a symbol of purity.  She wore a slight muddied white because she was not "pure" at her wedding.  

Even bridal veils have certain social connotations and if you are looking at it properly, you can see which bride is a virgin or not by the way they wear their veils.  Women who are virgins, cover their faces during their weddings, until they get to the alter, and the circlet they wear to hold the veil is a complete circle.  Women who are not virgins do not cover their faces before stepping upon the alter, and the circlet that holds the veil is broken, meaning a piece of it is missing to mean she is not a virgin.  And she shows her face while stepping down the isle to represent that she is not a virgin...OR she doesn't wear a veil at all.  Which my mother did.  My mom wore no veil at her wedding with my stepfather.  Because again, she was not a virgin when she married my stepfather.  

Yes, this is an actual cultural thing we have here.  For those of you who might have noticed these things showing up and ever wondered why.  Well, there it is.  That's why.

And well, I'm a woman, and i need to stick up for my fellow sister.  Because, yes, we still have it more difficult than you men.  We are still regarded as the OTHER.

So, why is slut shaming wrong?  It demoralizes the woman, or girl, or whatever.  And it can happen to any women regardless to whether or not she had sex, dresses a bit more sexy, or even acts in the term of "A slut".

Hell, I've had it happen to me when I was a teen in junior high and high school.  Why?  Because as I stated in a previous journal, I began to develop earlier than my fellow female classmates.  And I pretty much had full sized tits by the time I was 13.  I wore a C-cup that was getting close to being a D-cup.  And no, I wasn't fat during that time, I was rather fit.  I was a member of the cross country team at school.  I was involved with a lot of clubs that had me doing all sorts of outside activities or things where I was always moving around.  When I was younger, I went to sports camp.

I walked to school every day with a full bag of books and a violin in hand, waking over two miles to school up the very steep hills in my small town  So, I was very active.  It's just that genetics took over and because my mom had big boobs, I was destined to have them too.  And because of my genetics granting me big boobs, I was looked upon as a slut by the other girls.  And the guys as well because I would ignore their advances.  

Slut shaming is usually done by girls towards girls, but it is also done by the boys to the girl as well.  

When slut shaming is used between two girls, it's mostly due to the girl calling the other a slut due to jealousy.  Because yeah, we girls are kinda mean to each other.  We judge each other and ourselves a lot.  That's where the cat fight term comes from.

When it comes from the guys, it's basically not jealousy, but shame.  Jealousy can lead to shame between two girls, but no, it's shame planted upon the girl from the guy.  

I didn't party when I was in junior high or high school, but I was still called a slut because of my big boobs.  From the guys it's because again, I didn't return their advances, and so I was shamed for actually keeping my chastity.  And because hormonal boys couldn't control themselves when they saw my huge breasts.  So, the blamed everything on me.  

And that is why it is wrong.  

Because I was aware of my well endowedness, I wore baggy shirts, long pants.  I made sure that I wore nothing that was too clingy.  I actually did make the effort of wearing clothes that were very modest.  Compared to the other girls who would do exactly the opposite in my school.  Yet, I was still called the slut for having big boobs.

It was worse when I was in gym.  We all wore the same gym uniform, baggy white shirt, baggy draw string shorts that came up to our knees.  Both the boys and the girls, and yes, when I ran, I attracted a lot of guys.  Including one pervert who would run right beside me so he could get his excitement for the day while watching my boobs bounce under my shirt, even with wearing a bra.

Yeah, I felt very ashamed.  

I was a virgin for all of my junior high and high school years and I was still called a slut.  What's up with that?

So, the reason why I'm against slut shaming is that it can happen to any woman regardless to what she wears, or how she acts, or whether or not she had multiple partners.  I wore baggy clothes to school every day, and yes, I was still considered a slut.

So, to any of you girls who have been slut shamed, they're doing it regardless to what you do, and it is not your fault.  It's their fault.  Don't let them get you down.

And for those of you boys who do slut shame a girl, let me tell you something.  Read that picture I posted.  It doesn't matter what the girl is wearing, she is not asking for it.  At all PERIOD.  You boys need to control your own damned urges.  Keep your cock in your pants and leave the girl alone.

And saying that she's asking for it because she's wearing a skimpy top or very short shorts...is wrong.  That's why we have cultures like the Muslims who force their women to wear burkas.  Because men become aroused by the woman for dressing a certain way, and then blame it on her for dressing that way.  

It's why women back in the 19th Century were being blamed for being raped.  Because oh my god, they were showing their ankles!  Those sluts!  Well, that's why she got raped.  She was obviously asking for it.  It's not the guy's fault, he was running on instinct.

AND THAT IS SO VERY WRONG!

There's this asshole dude from I think Australia who blames women for being rape because of what they where and say slut shaming is okay because of that.  And no, he's an asshole.  He used the whole Lady Gaga in a meat suit being attacked by lions for wearing a meat suit as a way to prove his argument.  Okay, the difference between human men and lions is this.  Humans have the ability and intelligence to curb their instincts.  Lions do not.  Yes, it's not the lion's fault for attacking Lady Gaga in a meat suit.  Because the lion is running on instinct and cannot control it.

But it is still the man's fault for raping a women regardless as to whether or not she's wearing a bikini because HE CAN control those instinctual urges.  

This is why we are higher than MOST animals in the animal kingdom.  We can discern instinct and reason and we can control instinct with reason.

And some women who wear skimpy outfits feel like it is empowering.  Some women, like myself, who dress modestly feel that's empowering.  Me, I'm more about trying to have people to pay attention to my personality, my art skills, my likes and dislikes and not my breasts.  So, that's why I dress modestly.  I want what I do speak for myself and not what I look like.

But there is no wrong way of doing it.  You wanna wear a skimpy outfit, fine, I am happy you women are all secured in your body image to wear such things.  


But do remember to dress appropriately when you go to certain establishments, or follow the dress codes at the places you work at.  My work has a laxed dress code, meaning we could wear a lot of casual things, but we couldn't wear T-shirts with offensive images on them, or low cut tops for women.  No spaghetti straps.  No short skirts or short shorts.  For both  men and women.  And wear proper shoes.

But there is something I need to say to the ladies who like to wear bikinis.  You need to cover yourselves.  Not because of wearing a skimpy suit, but because you expose too much of your skin to the rays of the sun.  Try to cover up as much as you can and wear sunscreen, because people who wear the skimpy stuff are more likely to get melanoma, aka skin cancer, which is one of the worst cancers out there.  So, protect your skin.  My mother used to wear bikinis, lay in tanning beds, and lay out in the sun, and already she has had several malignant tumors due to melanoma removed from her body.

So, cover up to protect your skin and keep it healthy.  Because you don't want that shit.  I will tell you that now.  You don't want that shit.

Journal Layout by lockjavv
  • Listening to: Thriller (cover) by LoveCrave
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My Birthday

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 14, 2014, 12:04 AM


Well, it's that time of year again.

That time of year that I keep reminding people that I am a constant 22 year old and will never age.

It is my birthday, and I am again celebrating my 22nd year for the 12th time.

Right now, the only present I feel I need is to make sure I have a good day.  Because none of my birthdays have ever been good days.  It's like I'm destined to have a crappy day regardless.

So, instead, I'm gonna be looking at Neltharion smiling back at me...

Earth-Warder Pandaren Portrait by Ghostwalker2061

Let's all enjoy the Squishy together.




Journal Layout by lockjavv
  • Listening to: Thriller (cover) by LoveCrave
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  • Watching: The Time Machine I found at a Yard Sale
  • Playing: Plants vs. Zombies
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: Vanilla Coke

Happy Genocide Day!

Journal Entry: Mon Oct 13, 2014, 2:01 PM


So, let's discuss Holidays today. Since it is Columbus Day.  And it is a holiday in which only a select few get to enjoy the day off.  Columbus Day, the day in which a white man from a distant land discovered a new world that sparked the take-over and genocide of an indigenous people for being ideologically, religiously, racially, and culturally inferior than him.  

I like to call it Genocide Day.

Gotta talk about this because, what I posted up last wasn't that interesting.

Someone told me that possibly the reason for the down time on my site, not getting as much traffic as I should, is because people are home during this so-called 3 day weekend visiting their families.

Except I see Starbucks open. I see Walmart open. I see Kroger's open. And yes, I have to work today as well. Hell, this is such a NOT holiday that I didn't even realize it existed until I tried to go down to the bank and found that it was closed.

So, as you can see, this is why I'm a bit miffed about this holiday. Same reason why I was miffed about Memorial Day and there was no Game of Thrones that day. They stated that it was because they thought most people would be out having a barbecue not sitting at home watching TV.

Except, the people I know, work on Memorial Day. You know, the people who work in retail, in gas stations, in customer service, those kind of places? What did I say then? Only people who are either rich, have a government job, or work at a bank had Memorial Day off. So, that means the majority who work the low end jobs, like say McDonald's, probably are still there flipping burgers, and probably would like to come home for some Game of Thrones after their hard job of dealing with customers. Because working with the general public is hard. Also, working with the general public means you don't get the so called government mandated holidays off either!

So, I would like to know why this ended up the way it does. Why is it that one of my friends says she gets to have a three day weekend where I'm forced to go to work? Hell, you know Labor Day? That day where we're supposed to get off of work because of labor and such...yeah, I worked that day too.

The only job that I had where I didn't work those days was Daimler Chrysler, and only because their corporate office had those days of. Because we couldn't survive without Corporate. We couldn't even run our equipment without corporate.

So, could someone please tell me what the hell is wrong here? Why is it that a friend of mine says: "It's a holiday! Most people are home on their long three day weekend!?" when I have to go into work. And if you're wondering, no I didn't get the weekend off either. I have to work the weekend.

So, can someone explain to me how this is a holiday again? We might as well just call it as it is. It's a day off for only selective people, while the majority still has to clock into work.

So, for those of you who get this holiday off, enjoy your selective privilege. I have to get dressed for another day of earning pennies on the dollar.

Oh, and let's not forget that you special people who get to have this day off on the day that sparked the genocide of an indigenous people who came here 10 thousand years before Columbus was even born!

And let's not forget Native Americans discover America Day?  Wait, there isn't one?

Well, fuck!  Enjoy your three day weekend, you selective people get to have, that sparked the genocide and destruction of an entire culture of people!

Or in other words GET BACK TO FUCKING WORK, YOU LAZY-ASSED PEOPLE!



Journal Layout by lockjavv
  • Listening to: Thriller (cover) by LoveCrave
  • Reading: Mass Effect 3 Times as Different
  • Watching: The Time Machine I found at a Yard Sale
  • Playing: Plants vs. Zombies
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: Vanilla Coke

Sigh...

Journal Entry: Mon Oct 13, 2014, 1:08 PM


I guess no one wanted to read the story.  I even posted the fifth chapter here before I posted it up on fanfiction.net

If anyone cared, it's here...

Rise of the Sha Preview by Ghostwalker2061

But meh.  I guess it isn't that good.


Journal Layout by lockjavv
  • Listening to: Thriller (cover) by LoveCrave
  • Reading: Mass Effect 3 Times as Different
  • Watching: The Time Machine I found at a Yard Sale
  • Playing: Plants vs. Zombies
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: Vanilla Coke

Korra Season 4 and Nazis...

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 12, 2014, 5:55 PM


So, I found this little comment on That Guy with the Glasses in regards to their equating Kovira and her gang as Nazis...

I'm not gonna comment or try to counter the argument.  I'm just gonna go at it with blind emotion.

So, here's the Troll comment...

You two may call Kuvira's group "nazis", but the rest of the world will call them "americans". Because offering protection for commodities to desperate countries is your spiel.

And here's my rebuttal.

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!


Okay, I've said my piece.

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Pandaria Rise of the Sha chpt 4

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 12, 2014, 2:48 AM


Okay, so new chapter...

Pandaria: Rise of the Sha Chapter 4

We get to see Nel wake up and let the fun begin.  

Some really heartwarming scenes with Nel and Malygos.

Because of this again...

Malygos and Neltharion by Ghostwalker2061

Seriously, why am I the only one who does this?

And yes, Pandaria is now officially mentioned.


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Alexstrasza is NOT Perfect!

Journal Entry: Fri Oct 10, 2014, 9:46 PM


Something I came across in one of the reviews.

One guy mentioned that I'm making the Aspects stupid.  

So, I went back to some old notes from Math Nut.

So, why don't we look at Alexstrasza for a moment...and why I have this love-hate relationship with her, and why I do write her out to be the way she is...

Alexstrasza Life Binder by Ghostwalker2061

Alexstrasza...she's not as perfect as we all thought.

(Also I know I need to update my Alexstrasza image.  Like I need to make a new image of her.  Maybe in the scene with Nel because yeah, I was going to draw that and I stopped for some strange reason.)


One thing that I noticed when I started writing these stories...I get to explore things about the other Aspects that the game leaves out.  Hell, even the books leaves these things out.

As in, we get to see what sort of characters the Aspects are.

I mean, hell again going back to that statement as to why Garrosh could defeat Neltharion because Neltharion EXISTS in the story rather than being killed off in the Dragon Soul Raid.

Yes, I don't exactly like her.  And I think I made that clear in a previous journal...

So, here we go...


Alexstrasza

People in general seem to either really like, or really hate Alexstrasza. I think there's a good reason for this.

Alexstrasza was created to care about life in general and people in particular. And this nature is very apparent to the both the Player and to characters in-universe. They can see it in her compassionate nature, her dialogue, in her actions to protect and heal.

At some point, Alexstrasza realized that this compassionate nature gave her power over people. This may have coincided with the War of the Ancients. Perhaps it developed after, as a way to buttress her leadership given the loss of Neltharion and Malygos' support. Or perhaps it developed before, and helped drive them away in the first place.

 photo Alexstrasza_BotA_zps4c5ddaa1.jpg

This is not manipulation per se, as Alexstrasza really does care about people and acts in their benefit as best she can determine-- she's not deceiving or leading them for intentionally selfish reasons. However, she is deliberately reaping the benefits of people's perceptions of her caring. She does use the support they give her, and their positive views of her to buttress her positions, leadership, and actions.

The only people in-universe that can see she's using this are Neltharion and Malygos, and occasionally Ysera. Nearly everyone in-universe can only see her compassion.

The people that perceive the underlying benefits she's accruing see her moral authority as being compromised. So they stop seeing the fact that she had good intentions as sufficient justification for her actions. As a result, they start evaluating her actions based on the outcomes they instigate. And on that score they start seeing issues.

Most people out of universe also only see the compassion. But those that look beyond it start to see the same problem areas, and they start becoming skeptical of the quality of her character.

To be fair, she has not had an easy time. 

She is the titular ruler of dragon-kind, and disaster befell on her watch. She saw her most trusted advisor, her brother betray them all. See him seemingly destroy everything they worked for, and abandon his charge-- and blame her personally for it. 

These failures resulted in some of the greatest losses of life in Azeroth's history.

 photo GoogleChromeScreenSnapz001_zpsb2878607.png

This greatly damaged her, the Red Dragonflight, and the other flights. And given the magnitude of the destruction, given the loss of Neltharion's support, she was unable to pick up the pieces by herself. Unable to re-unite the remaining flights.

And on top of this, she loved Neltharion.

 photo tumblr_n9dsnoIoyU1spqhmmo6_500_zpsd57ab4a3.jpg

For 10K years she dragged her feet as Deathwing's plans advanced.

Hoping that some spark of Neltharion would show.

Until the loss of life in the Cataclysm convinced her it was hopeless: Neltharion was gone.

And so she ordered his death, and the genocide of the Black Dragonflight.

And then, at the last moment, it was proven that she was wrong again.

Neltharion lived.

And worst of all, he had not chosen to be evil.

He had been deeply, deeply sick.

And as Aspect of Healing, she had not known he was sick. Not recognized the sickness. Not tried to heal him.

And he had suffered.

And she had failed him.

This knowledge all landed on her at once.

It was too much.

So she vowed to make up for her failure. To protect him, to heal him. Even if she didn't know how.

At any cost.

By any means necessary.

 photo Alexstrasza_TCG_zpsae5b026e.jpg


Alexstrasza is a deeply flawed character, a deeply flawed person.

She is an unintentional antagonist: somebody who tries to help Nel, but makes things worse despite her best intentions.

She's representative of the people in Reality who tell somebody with depression: "Just cheer up!". Her intentions are good, she even cares tremendously and tries to help. But she doesn't' understand the problem.

And she doesn't understand that she doesn't understand. 

 photo tumblr_n9dsnoIoyU1spqhmmo2_500_zps3d91a234.jpg

So she makes things worse; she takes the wrong approach, tackles the wrong problems.

Because she doesn't understand Neltharion either. Doesn't understand what he lived through, how it affects him, who he is. Even though she has some experience with abuse. And by trying to control him she aggravates all his problems, opens his wounds, draws Deathwing's violations closer to the surface. It only drives them apart.

If the corruption advances she may become a full-blown antagonist, but for now her damage is unintentional, if severe.


"They don’t trust me. You don’t trust me. I know why. I can't...complain...I don't have the right to.”
“Deathwing...” began Alexstrasza. “Please...” 
“What did you call me?” Neltharion asked. 
Alexstrasza gasped(Coffer, p18)

Warcraft: Romancing the Coffer by Ghostwalker2061

Alexstrasza is not insightful compared to the other Aspects, but she is still insightful relative to a mortal. She knows instantly that this was the wrong thing to say; something Calia never, ever understood. She recognizes this is a mistake immediately; it pierces her pride. And she feels one thing:

Shame.

But she doesn't take advantage of this insight, as she doesn't follow Nel and try to make amends. She sends her dragons instead-- even though they have no chance of catching an Aspect. This is probably because she feels she can't face him in her shame. But this causes her to miss an opportunity to talk with him alone and truly help him-- by admitting her error and being honest. She can't get over herself, can't accept the small pain of this mistake in order to help Nel with the ocean of pain he's drowning in.

Redemption by Sorelstrasz

Nel values honesty, especially after Deathwing He trusts Malygos implicitly, and with good reason. But he can't fully trust Alexstrasza, because she's not fully honest with herself, let alone with him.

Part of this may be due to leadership: she couldn't afford to admit error, especially after the disaster. Otherwise she'd have no hope of holding everything together. And this basic pride that's part of her leadership suffuses her character.

Alexstrasza could redeem her mistakes. But she has to start being honest with those closest to her, including herself. To start letting them in, so they can help her recognize and learn from her mistakes. The role the Neltharion, Malygos, and the other Aspects likely served for their first 60K years.

After all, the Aspects were designed to work together. And her title as Dragonqueen is likely a check and balance on the Aspects power. It gives the weakest Aspect in terms of power the title and political authority. So the queen doesn't have the power to abuse her authority, and the powerful don't have the authority to abuse their power.

So, there is a look on Alexstrasza, a bit nicer view on her rather than a hateful one.

Better?  Have we tried to explain her fallacy but not hate her for it?



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Pandaria Rise of the Sha chpt 3

Journal Entry: Thu Oct 9, 2014, 11:17 PM


Because it took me a couple of months to basically write anything and update on Rise of the Sha, I decided to write another chapter to make up for it.

Pandaria: Rise of the Sha Chpt3

I thought we were going to Pandaria in this chapter, but I wanted to add some rather interesting elements with Malygos.  It pretty much will be covered by the next chapter where Neltharion informs the other Aspects that there's a strange continent at the south pole that needs to be addressed.

But for now, Alexstrasza and Malygos arguing!  They're going to do that, a lot.

Because I was influenced by this image...

Alexstrasza and Malygos whelps by The-SixthLeafClover

But don't worry, Neltharion will be saved by Kalec.  Also, we get to see something rather interesting that pertains to Neltharion's connection with his flight...

But for now...

Neltharion the Worldmender by Ghostwalker2061

Look how cute that face is!  It's so cute!  Neltharion is adorable, and a giant dork.  He's adorkable!  It's sweet.


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Pandaria Rise of the Sha chpt 2

Journal Entry: Thu Oct 9, 2014, 2:29 AM


Okay, here's the finished chapter.

Pandaria: Rise of the Sha chpt 2

Yeah, so some heavy shit is going own.  And I think at least by the next chapter, Neltharion will in fact be in Pandaria.

So, yay!  We're going to Pandaria!

Also, I still insist on people giving me some ideas on how Neltharion's trip into Pandaria should go when he first lands.

I want him to meet Taran Zhu some time during his first step into Pandaria, so you can tell me how that will go.

And the plan is that he will be finding Anduin along there as well.

And Wrathion.  So, both will be making a show there.

I know this chapter is a little late, but...well, I've been having writer's block problems.

So, yeah, here we go.

Malygos and Neltharion by Ghostwalker2061

Seriously, why the hell aren't there more images like this of these two?!


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Let's Talk Boobs

Journal Entry: Mon Oct 6, 2014, 7:42 PM


So, apparently the thing I posted earlier wasn't all that interesting, except to ONE person...

So, I will post up something that IS interesting.

BOOBS.

Let's talk BOOBS.

Actually, this stupid study...

A new French study suggests some women should throw their bras in the trash.

Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon, a sports medicine specialist from Centre Hospitalier Universitaire de Besancon in Besancon, France, published a study on Wednesday that shows that wearing bras may not prevent women's breasts from sagging, and may in fact increase it.

"Our first results confirm the hypothesis that the bra is a false need," Rouillon toldFrance Info. "Medically, physiologically, anatomically, the breast does not benefit from being deprived of gravity. Instead, it languishes with a bra."

The 15-year study involved 330 volunteers between the ages 18 and 35. Researchers measured their breasts using a slide ruler and a caliper and recorded any changes throughout the study period.

Women who did not wear bras had a 7 millimeter lift as measured from their nipples each year. Their breasts were also firmer, and their stretch marks faded. There was also no evidence that the bras helped get rid of back pain.

The researchers believed that wearing bras prevented the growth of breast tissue, which lead to deterioration of the muscles that support the breasts. If you don't wear a bra, the muscles are worked-out more, the findings suggest.

One volunteer, a 28-year-old woman named Capucine said that she hasn't worn a bra in two years. She told France Info that not wearing the underwear has helped her breathe better, stand straighter and have less back pain.

However, not everyone should eschew bras. While he believes the study shows that bras are unnecessary, Roullion said that a 45-year-old mother who has worn a bra her whole life may not see any benefits if she decided to toss her brassiere, because the study did not involve women older than 35 years old.

"It would be dangerous to advise all women to stop wearing their soutien-gorge (bra) as the women involved were not a representative sample of the population," he told the Connextion.

The New York Times reported that the findings have been met with jokes in the French media, including some columnist who have expressed "astonishment" that the study took so long and was still considered as "preliminary" research.


So, yeah, there was a study about women wearing bras and how bras are bad for women.  Except I have a question, these women that were tested by this French MALE scientist...what were the sizes of their breasts?

Were they an A-cup, or a DD-cup?

Because that would make a difference.

I saw this post down below...

I am a medical anthropologist, breast cancer researcher, and co-author of Dressed To Kill: The Link Between Breast Cancer and Bras. 

In addition to making the breasts droopy, wearing a tight bra for long periods of time daily constricts the breasts and impairs proper circulation, particularly the lymphatic system which is responsible for removing fluid and toxins from the breasts. As a result, bra wearing women have cysts (filled with this backed up lymph fluid) and pain, and over time the toxin accumulation can lead to cancer. 

We have found that bra-free women have about the same incidence of breast cancer as men, while the longer and tighter the bra is worn the higher the incidence rises. 24/7 bra wearers have over 100 times the incidence as bra-free women.

This issue is under-researched due to cultural resistance. Despite a 1991 Harvard study and a 2008 China study also showing a significant bra/cancer link, this information is being ignored and suppressed. 

Okay, first off, have you seen National Geographic?  Have you seen the tribes of women who go bra-less, even with tiny boobs?  What do they look like?  Do they look like the boobs of someone from let's say the US, were wearing bras is a thing, or do they look like flaps of skin hanging off the chest?

Secondly, I'm gonna call this guy's research bullshit until someone can show me something that states that a woman who's a 44-DD, which means both girls weigh over 20 pounds each, would benefit from being bra-less.

These researches on women that state that bras are unhealthy, are mostly done by researchers who choose a bunch of women who have probably an A-B-cup, or maybe C-cup, but that's pushing it.

I do know that anyone who has anything OVER a C-cup is going to have problems unless they wear a bra.

And what's worse is it's probably even more difficult to find a bra in a store that fits someone with very large breasts.  I mean, I have to order mine online because they don't carry my size.

Any research that states that women should go bra-less is more or less bullshit.  No, you shouldn't go bra-less.  At least you shouldn't go bra-less when your boobs weigh 20 pounds or more.  The ligaments do tear when they flap if they are that heavy.  And yes, it does hurt!  It feels like a painful rubber band snapped and burned at the same time.

It hurts.

Didn't like this journal?  Well...this is what happens when I try to post something I thought interesting and it wasn't.

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The Adventurer in Neltharion's Story

Journal Entry: Mon Oct 6, 2014, 2:55 PM


Well, Math Nut has come up with something interesting I think some of you might wanna look into.

Displaying Deathwing Loot Table.jpg


Yah, it's my least favorite image!

First thing that needs to be stated...

The story isn't about adventurers, the players, or the guilds, so I'd definitely agree they'd not be major elements. And recognizable Adventurers, Guilds, and Players from WoW definitely shouldn't show up, since it'd add nothing and break suspension of disbelief.

Yes.  Remember guys who do the game, you aren't really a part of the story, nor are you the main character of the story.

The same goes for my stories.  This is Neltharion's story, not yours.

So, here's some interesting things the Math Nut has showed me...

  1. As minor characters, adventurers could provide a way to represent and explore the Player's perspective of the world, and show how and why it is so inaccurate and distorted. And especially emphasize how clueless the Players and Adventurers are about this distortion.
  2. The way that the main cast views adventurers could provide a way to see how the NPCs-- the true drivers of the lore and events-- really view the players and their "heroics".
  3. The interaction between the main cast and minor adventurers could be a useful conflict to draw out and explore the main cast.
  4. Adventurers could serve as comic relief.
  5. Adventurers could be extremely useful tools and cannon fodder for the main characters, in addition to being useful tools at a narrative level. 

I do like the fourth one.

Expanding on #4, comic relief, Neltharion may periodically quest-block a group of adventurers. He's so powerful that he can effortlessly complete most quests that Adventurers would struggle with. This can be used for humorous purposes, similar to Scrat and his acorn in Ice Age. This can also be used to illustrate sudden mood shifts, such as if the Adventurer's frustration at this suddenly takes a darker or more dramatic turn. For instance, at the fact that all their months & years long efforts advancing a quest-line were wasted, that their comrades died for a cause that Nel effortlessly rendered meaningless.

And he's elaborated on the fifth as well...

Expanding on #5, tools & cannon fodder, the adventurers could be extremely useful to Neltharion's antagonists. For instance, one major strategic mistake Garrosh made in Wrath of the Warchief was to attack Neltharion directly and openly; to reveal his involvement before he had achieved victory. This meant Neltharion knew exactly who to counterattack when Garrosh's plan failed. Garrosh should not have revealed his involvement until he had confirmed victory was achieved (as is possible in the steam explosion / reactor scenario).

The other thing that I could do to add some of you WoW players into the story is use a few of you as cannon fodder.  Heehee....

If ever I need someone to die, a Player Character would be good to do that with.

I think I had Nel kill a few of them in Orgrimmar when he decided to go Godzilla there.

But here is how we really add the mentality of the player character into the story.

Of course, many adventurers are purely in it for the money. A large proportion of Players fit into this category. 

So while there is a spectrum of financial interest among adventurers, nearly all have some financial motivation. And for most this is likely the primary motivation. They don't care for much else, including their victims or the collateral damage they cause. They don't care about the lore, the history, the characters they attack, or the inter-personal relationships among those they attack.


So the adventurers could be used to shed light on this fact and the deep problems it causes. Both to Lore, the other characters, and to Azeroth's very survival.

Basically....

 photo Deathwing-Wallpaper-1080x1920_zpsa3d9e420.jpg

Yup.

And really, that dude must be huge considering that I've estimated Neltharion to be about over 100 meters to the withers (shoulders cuz he's mostly a quadruped).  Or because of artistic license due to the fact it is difficult to show some guy slaying Deathwing when he's the size of an ant against Deathwing.

Which is why, this image of mine depicted Garrosh and Grom a little bigger.  

The Black's Rage by Ghostwalker2061

Because, yeah, it's hard to create a dramatic scene with human-sized character when the thing they're going after makes them look like ants.

Don't worry, I might do a Garrosh solitary with Nel and have it look something like Attack on Titan or something.

Maybe like this?

 photo eren_and_kirito_vs_colossal_titan_by_siegxionhart-d6hvyjo_zps71d11923.jpg

Because that anime is kinda cool.

Well, Math Nut also gives some interesting things in how this can play into stuff with Garrosh.  Especially since in my story, he's all about either figuring out a way to kill Nel or control him.  Which ever suits him.

I got this little comment from a guy on the The Black's Rage image.

But from reading your description, two things stand out to me: 1: that would be an awesome battle to behold, and 2: I just don't see Neltharion losing to Grom and Garrosh, even with the Iron Horde's help.

Which I had to explain something to him...

That's because you're going by the game version.  Yes, the game version Garrosh wouldn't be able to even make a dent into Neltharion's armor, but the AU story Garrosh is an actual threat.

Garrosh can take on Neltharion in the AU because Neltharion is there in the story.  In the game, Deathwing dies, so Garrosh doesn't have to make any extra effort in order to either stay off of Neltharion's radar, or figure out how Neltharion's powers work so he could use said powers to his advantage.

In the AU, because Neltharion is there, and that he is involved in the lives of mortals, Garrosh has to make that extra effort.  He studies Neltharion...he figures out how to use his Shamans to mimic Neltharion's abilities and power.  He also figures out how to exploit Neltharion's weaknesses, his emotional weakness (due to Nel's trauma of being abused for 10,000 by Old Gods) and a physical weakness that Neltharion never knew he had.

The Garrosh in that image is completely different from the game.

That's right, guys, this is not the game.  Because Neltharion is in the picture and he's involved with things, a bit more than Deathwing was in Cataclysm, he's shown he's a bit of a threat to Garrosh.  Garrosh has to step up his game to win against Neltharion, and that is why he can.  

Yes, if all of a sudden, we put Garrosh from the Cannon Game into my story, he wouldn't know what to do, but this Garrosh is different.

Garrosh's Prisoner by Ghostwalker2061

A LOT DIFFERENT!

He is an actual threat to Neltharion.  This is Garrosh when he HAS something bigger than the Alliance to face.

So, because of that, Math Nut has done this...

The various adventurer guilds would also be in competition with each-other, just like real-world corporations. The different bands of mercenaries compete to complete various quests first. A clever adversary like Garrosh could use this very effectively:
  1. Use the competition to bid down the cost of the adventurer's services. This makes it cheaper to use them to attack Nel and others, allowing the Horde to throw more enemies at Nel for a given price.
  2. Give the same quests to multiple different Adventurers & Guilds. 
    • This would throw multiple antagonists at Nel, and he'd have to deal with them all. And only one group needs to succeed to complete the quest for Garrosh, while Nel has to succeed every time. 
    • The competition will also drive the Adventurers to greater lengths to complete their objective.
  3. Position Nel as a villain, and indicate that other people are working to eliminate the "menace". This gives the adventurers a psychological payoff that makes them feel better about their base financial incentive, and uses the peer pressure of the other guilds to help convince them.
    • Could be used to make guilds work together on especially complicated plans.
Yeah, we might just build a power plant out of Nel and use him for the purpose of the Iron Horde's factories.

This comes to mind...

 photo ScreenShot2014-10-02at121403AM_zpsa61470ec.png

Yup, Garrosh is the villain in my stories.

But he's a competent one.

So, what do you guys think?  You think this can be done or not?


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