Neltharion the Dirt-Warder

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You know, I need some...Squishy lovin'.  Because I've been so sad, I need Squishy again.

So, let's talk about this little...sentence for a moment...

Neltharion the Dirt-Warder.  Because all he protects is the dirt.



I actually knew about this.  And I saw this video a while ago.  And then someone decided to show it to me again...because they didn't know that I had seen it already.  Naturally.

Tirek Tastes the Rainbow by Ghostwalker2061

He showed it to me in a comment on that image there.

Because all of a sudden, I guess I got featured on Equestria Daily again...but wasn't notified this time...which is why all of a sudden, I'm being flooded with favs once more.  Which I like  At least there's a part of DA that is still awake.  I've noticed a lot of the rest of you have fallen back to sleep.

And I've been having a hard week and I need this.  Nel needs me.  With that cute face of his...

photo Locura-de-Alamuerte.jpg

Fuck me!!!!

Okay, I actually made a small reference in the last story regarding that um...video.  Yes, I actually referenced youtube video in the second to the last chapter of Wrath of the Warchief.

File all your complaints at eat_a_dick@youormom.com

I'm joking of course.  No more pitchforks and torches, please.  I'm not the Frankenstein monster.

Well, here is the reference...

  • It’s a matter of principle!” said Calia. “The world doesn't need a Dirt-Warder! The evil that stalks the world doesn't attack the dirt! It’s the people that need your strength! Who cares for the dirt?”
  •  
Wrath of the Warchief by Ghostwalker2061

And there is where it comes from.

So, Calia, much like the kid in the video, doesn't really understand what exactly it is that Nel protected.  Was it Dirt?  Really?

Guys, he protected the planet.  I mean the whole planet.  I mean everything about that planet.



Yeah.  That.  The whole thing.  And maybe its moons too.  It's got two of them.  Why not?

So, it's a little bit more than dirt, guys.  We're not talking about topsoil here, we're talking about ocean trenches, the mantle, outer liquid core, the inner solid core, the crust.  Possibly the EM field that protects Azeroth from solar radiation.  Remember what I said about back when Azeroth had one continent...one giant continent?  And I basically compared it to Pangea, the supercontinent that we had?  What did I say would happen?  Big time drought, right?  Yeah, global temps going up.  The Oceanic conveyor belt shutting down.  And basically this one continent because of its position was pretty much the main culprit to the death of 90% of life on Earth.  Including what swam in the oceans.

That's pretty nasty.  Well, the same could have been said for Azeroth too when Old Kalimdor was one continent.  But Azeroth had something Earth didn't.  Azeroth had the Earth Warder.

Neltharion the Worldmender by Ghostwalker2061

See that cute and adorable face made sure that 90% of life on Azeroth didn't go extinct.  Hell, even when he went crazy, just by existing, prevented the planet from becoming too hostile to life when the continents shifted into the four that exist now.

All by existing, people.  All he did was exist...and give Malygos a hard time...and the planet was still more than capable of housing life. 

Now, again, if Neltharion had died...

photo venus_zps73d85f24.jpg

Welcome to Azeroth.  Population: Burnt to a Crisp.

  • Temperatures today seem to be in the high 860s degrees F, here on the blazing frontier of the Eastern Kingdoms, we might get as high as 865.  So, be sure to...not go outside, because it's going to be so hot, lead will melt.

  • Wind is blowing from the southeast 230 mph and the air pressure is thick enough to squish a Titanic Watcher.  Be sure to wear a mask today because the carbon dioxide levels are a bit high for spring.  I'd say the flowers are blooming, but there ain't no flowers!  They all burned when our Earth-Warder left!

  • I will have to say this folks, I will never, ever call Neltharion the Dirt-Warder again.  Neltharion, please come back and make Azeroth livable again!
So, yeah...he doesn't just protect the dirt, does he?


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Comments2
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Jcbq's avatar
Dirt warder? Yes. But so much more. Where does the dirt come from? Rocks. and where does the rocks come from? the PLANET.

Yes, Neltharion is in charge of the dirt to those who know next to nothing about his job.because that is all the they choose to see. Wanna go delving into the deepest part of the caverns of time? Ha your funny, pressure and heat would kill you long before you could get there. And who regulates the ability to go that deep? The 'dirt warder'. who regulates the temperature without and within the planet, allowing life to thrive? The 'dirt warder' and on that note who protects the planet from random celestial cataclysmic meteor impacts? The 'dirt warder' (and I will say the spell Weaver to an extent, but that's not the point) meaning that if it weren't for the supposed 'dirt warder' then Azeroth may as well be having its populace leaping across the planet in a single bound or, being crushed under gravitational forces. All of that is governed by the so called 'dirt warder' so while yes, he may control the dirt, but he also controls where all of that dirt came from and where it is all eventually going. Law of conservation people!